It Isn't Done
by frostygossamer
Summary: Merlin was thinking. So was Arthur. T as it's a little bit of Merthur thinking. 3 chapters, now complete.
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Merlin was thinking. So was Arthur.

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It Isn't Done by frostygossamer

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Merlin was thinking to himself as he climbed the castle stairs from the washhouse with a full basket of Prince Arthur's clothes in his hands. "He's a prince and you're not supposed to, when you're a prince".

"You're not supposed to feel like this, you know. Not when you're a member of the nobility, definitely not. You're not supposed to speak to the peasants, except to tell them what to do. You're not supposed to talk to them as if they're equals, much less as if they're friends.

And you're not supposed to care about them, not personally, as your subjects, yes, but not as favourites, never as objects of affection. And it's definitely not possible for you to have a crush on one. It's so undignified for a nobleman. It never happens. Well, it shouldn't happen. Well, hardly ever.

So the best thing to do is forget about it. Maybe it'll just go away. Yes, it will probably fade away, eventually. As long as you don't think about it too much.

Though that can be pretty hard to do, to not think about it. Especially when that thing you're not thinking about, that someone, is so damn beautiful, adorable and so damn right there in front of you every day. It can hurt, yes that is true, it can hurt to want someone so much without hope".

At that moment, rapt in his own private thoughts Merlin walked into Arthur's chamber. At that same moment, Arthur was sitting in his armchair silently staring into the flames of his fireplace.

Sometimes, although they would never admit it, they thought very alike, the two boys. But, of course, they wouldn't express those thoughts aloud, of course not. How could they? It isn't done, you know. It isn't done.

Merlin quietly set down the pile of laundry he was carrying and turned, intending to sneak away and leave Arthur alone with his thoughts.

"Merlin? We need to talk".

It isn't done... yet.

The End

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A/N: Just a little Merthur cos I've been neglecting Merlin and Arthur lately.


	2. Chapter 2

Summary: Merlin and Arthur were thinking together.

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It Isn't Permitted To Be Done by frostygossamer

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Daybreak arrived to find Merlin lying side by side with Arthur in Arthur's four-poster bed.

He thought that this was probably the most comfortable place he had ever lain. He had lain on the kitchen tiles after slipping on a discarded tomato. He had lain on the knight's training field after a misjudged parry. He had lain on a forest track after falling from his horse. He had lain on the bottom of a lake. But he had never lain anywhere before that felt as good as this.

Stretching out his hand he brushed his fingers against a supple thigh. Perfection. He rolled over and gathered his new lover in his arms. His lover sighed. Sin should never feel this beautiful. A prince should never know this sin.

How had they got to this point? A question. An answer. A desire returned. Hands had explored faces. Lips had explored mouths, as had tongues. Hair had been ruffled. Arms had encircled bodies. The bed had swallowed them up like an ocean.

Now they lay holding each other, unwilling to part, trying to extend the brief moment. This snatch of joy that could never be repeated. This love, if others would allow them to use that word, this doomed love.

Two men, two boys, were not allowed to love each other. It wasn't done. It wasn't permitted to be done. And the pain of knowing that was impossible to bear.

Suddenly the chamber door opened.

"Sire, your father requires...", the voice was cut off. "...Oh, heck". The voice's owner retreated hastily.

"Was that Sir Leon?", Merlin asked in a whisper.

"Ye Gods, I hope he doesn't tell my father", Arthur prayed.

TBC

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A/N: One more bit tomorrow.


	3. Chapter 3

Summary: Uther was thinking. Uther was angry.

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The Only Thing Worse You Could Have Told Me by frostygossamer

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Arthur and Merlin stood before King Uther in his private apartments, heads bowed shamefully, awaiting his pronouncement.

Uther paced back and forth. He was angry, frighteningly so, and almost unable to articulate the thoughts going through his head. His son knew exactly how those thoughts would go, he was thinking them himself.

"How could he? For heaven's sake. He's a Pendragon. Blood of my own blood. How could he have let me down like this. The shame, the disgust. My only son, my perfect boy. The true embodiment of everything I could have wanted in an heir. Regally arrogant, lionhearted, totally devoted to the good of his people, the model of virtue and honour. What a sham!

He has brought me such dishonour. How can I forgive him for this failure of character, this lapse of morals, this inability to live up to my fatherly expectations. How can I trust him with my kingdom if he is unworthy? How can I pass my Camelot on to a man who is less than a man? It is beyond my comprehension".

Uther flung himself into his chair without saying a word, too distraught to utter a syllable. His face said everything.

Merlin coughed and shuffled his feet. Arthur shushed him.

Slowly he began to speak.

"Disappointment. That's the only name I can give it and it cannot be denied. But the damage has already been done, the wine has already been spilt, I know. Hurting the boy or sending him away wont help. Clearly he is not to blame.

And if you cannot find sympathy for your own child you must not have a heart, and your dreams do not deserve to be fought for. The king of Camelot must be compassionate enough to accept and to forgive or he is puny indeed".

King Uther rose and placed his hand on his only son's shoulder.

"I have accused you of betrayal but I cannot accuse you justly of weakness. It takes a brave man to admit his flaws as well has his merits. I admire you for that and I'm willing to shut my eyes to your crime. This time. I am your father. You are my son".

Uther swept out of the room and was never to speak of the matter again.

Arthur turned sad eyes to Merlin. "At least you're still here", he whispered under his breath.

"I'll always be here, Arthur", Merlin hissed back. "Your father won't always be king".

The End

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A/N: Definitely the last chapter.

A/N: The title is from the thought-provoking show of that name written by Dan Butler.


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